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怙恃要学会有用的去教导孩子

日期: 2010/3/26 16:57:40 人气: 221 

[焦点择要]这里有一个小故事也许能对教导孩子的庞杂性有所描写,故事是说,“一个未婚心思学家写了篇论文《若何哺育孩子的十二个必备前提》,成婚有孩子后将标题题目该为《若何哺育孩子的十二个倡议》;生下第二个孩子后又该为《若何哺育孩子的十二个提醒》;第三个孩子诞生后她抛却了本身的课题。这个故事申明哺育孩子…

ZHEILIYOUYIGEXIAOGUSHIYEXUNENGDUIJIAODAOHAIZIDEPANGZAXINGYOUSUOMIAOXIE,GUSHISHISHUO,“YIGEWEIHUNXINSIXUEJIAXIELEPIANLUNWEN《RUOHEBUYUHAIZIDESHIERGEBIBEIQIANTI》,CHENGHUNYOUHAIZIHOUJIANGBIAOTITIMUGAIWEI《RUOHEBUYUHAIZIDESHIERGECHANGYI》;SHENGXIADIERGEHAIZIHOUYOUGAIWEI《RUOHEBUYUHAIZIDESHIERGETIXING》;DISANGEHAIZIDANSHENGHOUTAPAOQUELEBENSHENDEKETI。ZHEIGEGUSHISHENMINGBUYUHAIZIDIZIBUBIXUZUNZHAODEFAZE,ZHIYAOYIXIEZHIDIAN。JIAODAOHAIZISHITIANXIASHANGZUIJIANJU、ZUIPANGZA、ZUISHIRENNEIXINBUAN、TIANMEIDANJIKUDERENWU,GENGNANDESHIBUXUEXIAOQULIANXINIRUOHEQUSHIXIANZHEIGERENWU,YISHIJINXIU、QIECUO、LILUNYOUYONGDE、HESHIDEJIAODAOHAIZIDETILISHISHIHUSHIDEZEREN。DADOURENANHUSHIGUANSHUBENSHENDETILILAIGUANSHUBENSHENDEHAIZI。DANRUXUZUOXIANGZHENGZHELIANGDUOHUSHIHUIZHONGFANTAMENDEHUSHISUOFANGUODEYIYANGMAOBING。

YI、SHUXIDAOJIAODAOHAIZIDEPANGZAXINGHEJIANNANXING: JIAZHANGYAOSHUXIDAOJIAODAOBENSHENDEHAIZIJIUXIANGBENSHENZAITIANXIASHANGZUIJIANJUDEXUEXIAOJIAOSHUYIYANG,TAMENSHIJIXIAOZHANG、BANZHUREN、KANMENREN、HOUQINBUZHANGDENGDUOZHONGJIAOSEYUYISHEN,XUYAOZUOYIQIEDESHI,ZAICAINENGSHANGQINGQIUSHIZUOZHEIXIEYIQIESHIDEZHUANJIA,GENGNANDESHITIANXIASHANGBUJISUOXUEXIAONENGLIANXINISHIXIANNIDERENWU,BINGQIEKECHENGDESHEZHIYECHABIEYIDEHUADING。

ER、JIAODAOHAIZIYAOZENGJIAYIXIADEXINXIN

● JIAZHANGDANYUANHUODEBIERENDEZUNJING;HAIZIYEYIYANG

● JIAZHANGDANYUANHUODEGONGYUNKANDAI;HAIZIYEYIYANG

● JIAZHANGDANYUANBIERENDUITAMENHESHAN、HEMU;HAIZIYEYIYANG

● JIAZHANGDANYUANZUODEHAODESHICHENYOURENZANMEI;HAIZIYEYIYANG

● JIAZHANGDANYUANZUODEBUHAODESHICHENYOURENTILIANGHEGUDONGMIANLI;HAIZIYEYIYANG

● DANGGANYINGSHANGXIN、AONAODESHICHENJIAZHANGDANYUANYOURENCIYUCHENGCHI、WEIJIE;HAIZIYEYIYANG

SAN、ZUODAODUIHAIZIDEFENQIXINGGUANSHU?

YOUDEJIAZHANGNENGGOUHUOXUGUANDEYANXIE,YOUDEGUANDESONGXIE,DANZUIZHUYAODESHIGUANSHUZHONGDEFAZEYAOYOUFENQIXING。FENQIXINGGUANSHUDEYICHUZAIYUDUISHIWUGOUCHENGYIGEBIAOZHUN,YAOMINGBAIHUADINGYIGEKEJIEGUANBULVDEGUIMO,HAIZINENGGOUHUOXUZAIZHEIYIGUIMONEIZIZAIBULV,ZHEILEIFENQIXINGDEGUILVSHUFUNENGJIHAIZIYININGJINGGANHEBUBIANGAN。RUOSHIMINGTIANGUANDEYANMINGTIANGUANDESONG,ZEHUISHIHAIZIGANYINGZHEIGETIANXIASHIBUKEZHANWANGDE,NANYIGOUCHENGBULVDEBIAOZHUN。

SHANGMIANZANMENXIANKANYIXIEGUANSHU“BUFENQI”DELIZI,ZHEIXIEDOUSHIHUSHIMENZAIXIANSHIHUKOUZHONGCHANGFANDEMAOBING:

l      SHUOYITAOZUOYITAO.NIXIANGAOZHIHAIZI: “RUOSHINIBUCHISHUCAI,JIUBUNENGCHITIANDIAN!”ERHOUNIGANSHOUCANKUI,YOUZIDONGJIHAIZINATIANDIANCHI。

l      SHUONIBUNENGGOUHUOXUZUODESHI。“RUOSHINIBUNINGJINGSHANGQU,WOJIUTINGXIACHERANGNIZOUHUIJIA!”ERNIDIZIBUHUIRANGHAIZIXIACHEZOUHUIJIA。

l      GUODUKUADAJIEGUO。“KAN,CHEDOUNONGHUAILE!NIBUZAIZHUNQIZIXINGCHELE。”NIZHISHISHUOCHEHUAILE,ERBUSHENMINGHAIZICUOZAINEILI。

l      YIXIAZI“BUXING”,YIHUIYOU“XING”。BIFANG,QITOUSHIJIAZHANGXIEJUEJIHAIZIMAIWANJU,GUOLEYIXIAZIYOUQUJIU,ZHONGJIURENGSHIJIHAIZIMAILEWANJU。ZHEISHIJIAZHANGMENWEILESHINAOZHEXIANGTAMENYAOGONGJUDEHAIZININGJINGSHANGQUJINGCHANGGANDESHI。

l      BUCHACHAOHAIZISHIBUSHIANNIDEQINGQIUZUOLEMOUSHI(RU: GUAHAOYIFUHUOZHENGLICHUANGPU)。

l      FUQINHEMUQINJIHAIZIDINGDEFAZEBUFENQI。HUSHIDUIHAIZIDEQINGQIUYINGFENQI,DOUBUYINGDANGFENSUILINGWAIYIFANGGUANSHUHAIZIDEJINLI。

l      JIAZHANGDIYICISHOUHUIDEZHENGGAOSHI“XU”DE。HAIZIHENKUAIHUIXIAODE,ZAIYOUHAOJIHUIZHENGGAOYIHOUTAMENCAINENGGOUHUOXUZHENDEZAODAOSHANGFA。

l      JIAZHANGDUIYIZHONGEXIDEQIANHOUFANYINGBUFENQI。MINGTIANHAIZIMENYOUYUDADOUBEISONGHUIBENSHENDEFANGJIANGUANJINBI,MINGTIANJIAZHANGDUIHAIZIDADOUYOUBUYUSHANGFALE。SUIBIANDESHANGFAHUISHIHAIZIGANYINGFENHUIHECAIYI,YOUYUTAMENBUXIAODEMINGTIANDEBULVHUIYOUHECHENGGUO,GUANSHUZHONGDEBUFENQIXINGJIHAIZIZHUANDALERUXUDEXINXI: “HAIZI,BIEXINWODEHUA,WOCUOCIJINGCHANGBUSUANSHU。”FU MUMENYINGFANGZHIZAIFANSHANGSUMAOBING!

SI、GUANSHUBUKEYANERFASHU

JIAZHANGMENPUTONGLAOSHILIYONGYIZHONGHUOJIZHONGGUANSHUTILI,CIZHONGBAOLUOYINGXINGGUANSHU、HAOQINGSHANGFAHUOZHENGMIANJIAODAOFA。

YINGXINGGUANSHUZHIJIAZHANGYINAZOUHAIZIWANJUHUODAXIAOQIMOUZHONGTEQUAN,YIXIANXIANNENGLIHEDUIHAIZIEZHISHANGFA。HAOQINGSHANGFAYECHENG“EZHIGUANAI”ZUOFABAOLUOXIEJUEYUHAIZICUOCI、YAOXIESHUOBENSHENYAOFENKAI、“BUYAO”HAIZIHUOBIAOXIANCHUBUAIHAIZIDEMOYANG。ZHENGMIANJIAODAOFASHILIYONGBAOYANG、CHENGREN、CHENGCHI、JIANGSHOUFAZEHEJIANGSHILIDENGTILIGUDONGMIANLIHAIZI,RANGTAMENGAIZHENGLINGJIAZHANGCUOWUJINGDEBULV。ZHEIXIETILIDOUNENGYOUYONGJIEZHIHAIZIDEBULV,DANYEYOUCHABIEDEFUGANHUA。

YINGXINGGUANSHUSHIYIZHONGDAIYOUQUANLIQUXIANGDEJISHU,CIZHONGJUNLIDETIFACHUGEWUHAI,HUISHIERTONGFASHENGJINGHAIGAN、CHOUHENHUSHI、BIANDEQUESHAOZIDONGXINGHEDUIRENLENGMO。YIXIECENGSHOUGUODUJUNLIDEYINGXINGSHANGFADEHAIZIHAIHUIBIANDEAIBANNONG、PANNIHEJUBEIJINFANXING。YIHANDESHI,TIFAJINCHAORENGWEIJIAZHANGMENZUIJINGCHANGLIYONGDEGUANSHUTILI。

HAOQINGSHANGFADEGUANSHUTILIJINGCHANGNENGPEIYUCHUZUNZHAOGUILVDEHAIZI,YEXUNENGGOUHUOXUSHUOZHEILEIERTONGDEZIFAXINGCHENGZHANGHENHAO,TAMENJINGCHANGCHENGWEIHAIZIZHONGDE“BANGYANG”HUOHENSHI“LINGQIAO”DEHAIZI。DANFUGANHUASHIZHEIXIEERTONGJINGCHANGGANYINGJIAOZHIHEBUAN,LAOSHIYAODANGZUORENDESHENSEXINGSHI。

ZHENGMIANJIAODAOFAYEYOUFANWEIXING。CHUNQIUJIAOXIAODEERTONGJINGCHANGNONGBUQINGMOUXIEFAZE,BUDONGDEDARENDEQUANSHIYUTAMENBENSHENBULVZHIJIANDEGANXI,YIDANDARENDEQUANSHIBUHESHIERTONGDEDONGDESHUIPING,GUANSHUJIUNANYIJIANXIAO。ZHEILEISHUOJIAODETILISUIYOUTIMU,DANQIZHANGCHUZAIYIXIEYANTAOZHONGHUODEZHENGMING。XINSIXUEJIAKUBOSHIGUNIANGFAMING,ERTONGGUANSHUZHONGCHABIEDEHUSHIQIGAIYUHAIZIDEZIFUZHIJIANYOUJIANJIEGANXI。

KUBOSHIGUNIANGZAIDUIERTONGDEJIANJIECHAKANZHONGFAMING,DIZIFUYUTIFAHEHAOQINGSHANGFADEGUANSHUTILIYOUGUAN。ZHENGMIANJIAODAOFAKUADAMINGBAIDE、FENQIXINGDEGUILVBIAOZHUN,KUADAHUSHIDUIHAIZIDEGANDUCUNJUANHEGUANQIE,SHIYUGAOZIFUYOUGUANDEJIAZHANGJIAODAOTILI。NEIXIENENGGOUHUOXUGANZAODAOHUSHIHAOQINGCHENGCHIDEHAIZIQINGYIYOUGAOZIFU。SHIYI,ZANMENCHANGYIHUSHIMENBADUIHAIZIDETIFAJIANGDAOZUIDISHUIPING,TONGSHIYAOFANGZHIZAIBUXUYAOSHILIYONGHAOQINGSHANGFA。YIXIEGUANSHUDEFADEHUSHIYEHUILIYONGZHEIXIEGUANSHUTILI,GUANJIANSHITAMENNENGYONGDUICHUSUO。KUBOSHIGUNIANGCHANGYI,ZAIYONGTIFAHEHAOQINGSHANGFATILIGUANSHUHAIZISHI,JIAZHANGYINGDANGJINYAN,BINGZHUZHONGYINGYONGYIXIAZHIDIANZHUNSHENG:

● JIAZHANGYINGDANGBAQIUQUANQIANZEHAIZIYUQIUQUANQIANZEHAIZIDEBULVQUFENKAILAI,BUYAOSHUO“WOSHANGFANISHIYOUYUNIZHEIHAIZITAIHUAI”,ERYINGDANGSHUO“WOSHANGFANISHIYOUYUNI“MOUMOUBULV”ZUODECUOWU”。

● JUTISHUOCHUNISUOSHANGFADEBULVSHISHENME,XIANGHAIZIQUANSHIQINGXINIWEISHENMEDUIZHEILEIBULVYAOYOUSUOXIANDING。

● SHANGFAHAIZIHAOBUKEGUOYUCULUHUODUITAMENXINGCHENGFENGXIAN。YAOJIZHELIANGDIAN: YISHIBUYAOZAINIFANUDESHICHENDAHAIZI,ERSHIRANGHAIZIGANSHOUHUSHIBUAIBENSHENDUITAMENXINGCHENGDEJIKUHEFENGXIANHUIBIRENHETIFADOUDA。

●  ZAIFAMINGBENSHENHAIZIBULIANGBULVHOUDANGJISHANGFAZUIYOUYONG,DUIYOUERCHUGERUSI。

●  DAPIGUHUOQIYUQINGSHIDETIFADUILIANGSUIYIXIADEHAIZIJIEGUOBUDA,HUISHIHAIZIGANYINGCAIYIHEZAODAOJINGHE。DA5SUIYISHANGDEHAIZIYEBUHAO,YOUYUAIDAHUIRANGHAIZIGANYINGCHICHENG,FASHENGFENJIQINGGAN。

●  LIANGDUOXINSIXUEJIAYIWEIYONGJIUBUYINGDANGDAHAIZI,ZUIDUOZHIKEZAIBUGENGHAOFANGSHIDEHUANJINGXIALIYONGTIFA,BIFANGYOUERPAODAODAXIANGSHANG,NEIYANGYIDANSHISHIJIUYOURENSHENFENGXIAN,CISHIDETIFANENGGOUSHIHAIZIBUGANBENSHENZAIWANGMALUSHANGPAO。

●  ZAIHAIZIMENBIAOXIANGHAOSHIEZHIJIAJIANG,BIZAITAMENZUOCUOLESHIEZHISHANGFAGENGYOUYONG。

DUI5SUIYISHANGDEHAIZIJIENAZHENGMIANJIAODAODETILIZUIYOUYONG,CHUGESHIYAOBAWOYUHAIZIXIANGTONGDEJISHU。YIXIAZHONGDIANHUISHANGJIAZHANGJIAOHUAHAIZISHIKEPUBIANLIYONGDEJITIAOZHUNSHENG。

WU、HUSHIYAOJIAOZIWUFANG

JIAOHUATIMUZHUANPURENKEMAIYEHEMAIKAITICHU,ZHUDONGDEQINZIGANXIBAOLUOYIXIASIGEGENJICHENGFEN:

l      BICIZUNJING。JIGEDEHUSHIHUIJINKENENGBUDAHAIZI、BUYUHAIZIZHENGCHI、BUYIBISHIDEKOUWENDUIHAIZICUOCIHUOXUGUOGEMEIWAN。TAMENYEFANGZHIQUDAIHAIZIZUOTAMENBENSHENNENGZUODESHI,YOUYUBODUOHAIZIJINXIUHEDANRENDEJIYUFANERHUIGUZHANGQIZILIHEZIFUDECHENGZHANG。

l      FENXIANGHUANYU。JIGEDEHUSHIHUITIANTIANHUAYIXIELILUNHEHAIZIZAIYILU,ZUOXIELIANGBIANDOUGANYINGXINGFENDEGONGZUO。

l      AI。ZHEIJIJINSHIBURONGZHIYIDE,DANLIANGDUOHUSHIYIWEIHAIZIMENLISUOGURANDIZHIDIANHUSHISHIAITAMENDE。YONGSHUOHUAHEBULV(RUYONGBAO)EZHIJIAOHUANHENZHUYAO。

l      GUDONGMIANLI。JINGCHANGHUODEGUDONGMIANLIDEHAIZIGENGYOUZIAO。ZAIDUCAIXINGJIATINGZHONGHAIZIZUODEHAOHUSHICAIKUAJIANG,ZUODEBUHAOJIUSHANGFA,HAIZIXUEHUIDEZHISHITAOHUSHIHUANXIN。JIGEDEHUSHIBUZHIBIDINGHEGUDONGMIANLIHAIZIDE“SHENGLI”、“SHENGLI”“CHAOZHUO”DEBIAOXIAN,DUIHAIZIDEQIANJINHEWEIQIANJINBENSHENSUOZUODEJINLIYESHOUYUBIDINGHEGUDONGMIANLI。XIANSHISHANG,GUDONGMIANLIZHONGBAOLUOZHEYIXIAWUDIAN: DIYI,ZHENGSHIHECHENGRENHAIZI;DIER,ZHICHUHAIZIBULVDEZHUDONGFANGMIAN;DISAN,DUIHAIZIBIAOXIANXINLAI,RANGTAMENCEYANKAOSHIBENSHENZUOGONGZUO;DISI,DUIHAIZIDEJINLIHEQIANJINYUYIBIDING;DIWU,DUIHAIZIWEIJIATINGSUOZUODESHIBIAOXIANZANMEI。

LIU、HUSHIYAOYUHAIZIXIANGTONG

NENGGOUHUOXUDIZAOXINGDIYUHAIZIXIANGTONGSHISHENGLIGUANSHUHAIZIDEJIAODIAN。ERQIANJINTIMUZHUANJIAJINUOTEYIWEI,QUFENDUIHAIZIBIAOSHUBENSHENDESHEFAYUTAMENDEBULVBIAOXIANSHITONGHAIZITANCHENGJIAOHUANDEGUANJIAN。BUGUANSHIHAIZIRENGSHIDAREN,BENSHENFASHENGDESHEFASHIBUNENGJIAZUODE,YISHI,YAOXUKEHAIZIZIZAIDISHUFABENSHENDESHEFA。

YAOSHIHAIZIXUEHUIJIEGUANBENSHENSUOFASHENGDESHEFA。RUOSHISHIHAIZIRENDINGMOUXIESHEFASHI“HUAI”DE,BUNENGCUNZAI,NEIMO。ZHEIXIANSHIHUISHIHAIZIFOUDINGQIHUKOULVLIZHONGDEYIXIESHIZAIDEJUBU。JINUOTEGUDONGMIANLIHUSHIJIAODAOHAIZISHISHITAMENXIAODE,YIQIEDESHEFADOUSHINENGGOUHUOXUCUNZAIDE,DANBINGBUSHIYIQIEDEBULVDOUNENGGOUHUOXUBEIRENMENJIEGUAN。LIANGDUOJIAZHANGBURENSHIDAO,QIASHITAMENBENSHENJINGCHANGFANGAIYUHAIZIDEGANSHOUJIAOHUAN。

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